Monday 10 December 2012

Nothing like a bit of awkwardness to start your week

Line-Manager-Monica has been publicising my blog today. This is nice and I'm all for a bit of publicising as I do like people reading my wierdness and all that jazz.

However, I have a limit to how far someone can talk positively about me until I have to start counter-acting against them. Today my limit was reached.

You see, Line-Manager-Monica was talking with some people I work with as I was quietly sitting there playing my new 'I-have-to-be-obsessed-with-some-form-of-game-so-I've-chosen-this-one' game. At the moment it is 'The Simpson's Tapped Out' ... seriously, if you guys aren't playing it yet then do so. It's a free app game and is available on all your apple goods. I think it's also available for other android phones but my friend the other day was having trouble downloading it on his so I'm not too sure... Anywho. There I was, tapping away on my own self-built Springfield when one of the guys who was with me asked what I was doing.

I excitedly started in on my advertisment for the game whilst thinking to myself that Matt Groening should totally hire me as his publicist because I am totally winning in getting people to play the game. I had them all enthralled completely, they were hooked and wanted to know more, so I kept on going. All the while, Line-Manager-Monica sat there next to me and let me go on and on. After I had finished she turned to the two guys and simply said:

"One thing you need to know about Lisa is that she gets excited about pretty much anything. I won't even start talking about what she's like when a new shipment of stationary comes in." (best day in the office)

I simply shrugged outwardly, trying my hardest not to prove Line-Manager-Monica right, whilst inwardly I was dancing about and saying to myself I totally wrote about this just the other day! I have no filter for my excitement at all! How exciting that someone else has noticed that!

Anywho, Line-Manager-Monica then went on to publicise my blog to these two unsuspecting colleagues of ours. She said that my posts just proved how excited I get and that if they read it they would 'be on the floor, laughing.'

I stopped being excited at this point and a large level of dread fell on me. Suddenly there was all this pressure to be funny. What if my colleagues went on this blog thinking 'Hey, hey, I'm ready to laugh and wet myself and then have to stitch up my side due to all the splitting it will be doing' and then they get to it, read a bit and then just fall into an abyss of depression as they realised that I wasn't as funny as they thought and actually now they didn't get the laugh they were expecting so they just start to cry instead????!!!!

I wanted to say something along the lines of "actually I'm not that funny, chances are you will be bored stiff reading it and just want to jump off a cliff afterwards." But then I realised that this isn't a good way of publicising one's writing which is what I am really trying to get better at doing.

So I then thought of maybe still publicising it a little but downplaying Line-Manager-Monica's comments by saying something along the lines of "You may laugh, but the likelihood of laughter is really minimal so don't be too disappointed if you don't." However, that then opened me up to look like I was fishing for a compliment which I hate.

So after going through all this in my mind, I resorted to my default position whenever I receive a compliment of any kind... I start mumbling incoherent words under my breath and my body went into shut down mode. For those of you who are confused on what shut down mode looks like... it basically is me but hunched over, facing the floor and busying my hands with anything it can find (lucky for me, The Simpsons was still open on my phone). I stayed this way until the conversation had changed topic. Once it had, I rebooted again and straightened my back, engaging into eye contact once more.

After typing all of this, I realise that this now looks like one massive fish for a compliment. Please do not see it that way. In fact, if anyone dares say anything nice in the comment box I will send you a virtual slap. Only nasty insults and general slagging off allowed today please. Actually, if you don't make me cry then you don't win today. Sorry.

So that's it for today methinks. Except to say that my online novel is still going on, on my creative writing page. There are nine chapters uploaded now, with a new chapter uploaded each day. It's about the end of the world, so if you weren't depressed by reading this... go ahead and check it out.

Peace out my lovelies.

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